Veronica and Legato's Ego
by black-dragon-of-sorrow
Summary: What happens when one of my friends comes over and gets really bored?She writes a story and sticks it on my account.Self insert with Legato and Midvalley.Realy funny story.
1. Default Chapter

Now Legato was very bored, worse off, he had no ice cream...or cheesecake...damn it... There was nothing for him in this ghost town he stumbled into, quite by accident, mind you. Anywhere there wasn't any junk food, Legato hated to be. He was strolling through the dusty street, half delisional with his sugar level at zero, he heard a faint noise coming from his left.  
  
He didn't care who or what it was, he needed to find out how to get somplace where there was sweet, sugary goodness! He tossed rocks randomly, they broke various windows on the opposite side of the street, but it didn't even faze him, what in the hell was under all these rocks anyway? He heard another sound, this time from behind them, he stood upright and turned quickly. A girl, taller than most, stood there, three feet away. Still, she wasn't taller than he was...did she have...strawberry shurbert...a pint of it!!!??? He reached for it but she drew it back.  
  
"Hey!!!" she said astonished by his lack of manners. "Get your own!"  
  
Legato's eyebrow twitched. Never before had he ever resorted to begging. "Come on, please! Just a taste!"  
  
Just then, another girl crawled from beneath a building across the street.  
  
"Britany, I did what you told me and it didn't work!" she moped, holding a pint of ice cream. "The lid is frozen on!"  
  
Legato looked past Brittany and at the other girl. "I can open it for you."  
  
Brittany frowned, "Yeah, right. You leave her alone."  
  
Legato moped. "At least tell what flavor it is!"  
  
"German chocolate...waaaaaaaant some?" she taunted, waving it around in the air.  
  
"Very much..." he said floating on his feet as he moved forward. Brittany stuck her arm out, stopping him.  
  
"Leave her alone, that's the only ice cream she's had in a month."  
  
The only thing keeping Legato from killing her was a profound interest in the two. "....so..." he muttered under his breath.  
  
"C'mon, Brit, let him have some, he's so cute, look how he's begging!!!"  
  
"This is so humiliating."  
  
"Okay," Brittany nodded, "I'll give you a bite."  
  
Legato smiled reaching forward for the ice cream like a two year old smiles for a new toy.  
  
"But first..." she said snatching it back, causing Legato to fall on his face. He got up tiredly. "You gotta kiss me!" Legato frowned.  
  
"Oh, alright." 


	2. Happiness

Legato wasn't used to taking orders, from women especially, but it was likely they knew a way out, unlike Midvalley who brought him here in the first place, who was God-knows-where now. He leaned down a bit, and gave her a short peck on the lips.  
  
"That won't cut it, bud," she said flustered. "What part of a KISS don't you understand?"  
  
"Why I oughtta..." he started. "Oh, I'm going to shoot you."  
  
"Go ahead and try, you'll be stuck here for a long time with her," she signaled over her shoulder at her companion, who had finally got the lid off of her ice cream.  
  
"What's wrong with her?"  
  
"You'll find out after you shoot me. Now give me a kiss."  
  
The other girl couldn't help but laugh at Legato's expression. "Alright," he surendered. He stood flat against her, with his arms around her waist. Slowly he touched her lips, his mouth open a bit, around her top lip. (A/N: there was also tounge, but I didn't want to explain it. ^_^. --- Vash)  
  
"Alright, that was acceptable, you get a bite," she said trying not to fall all over him as they backed away from one another. She scooped a rather large portion out with her spoon, okay she knocked half of it off, and fed it to him.  
  
He let it melt in his mouth blissfully, savoring it. He frowned. "You think, I can maybe have....another bite?"  
  
"Ummmmmmmm," she said biding, probably enjoying the painful look on his face. "Nah, not right now." She took a bite and joined her friend across the street.  
  
"Well, Veronica, what do you think?" she asked taking a bite, regretting later she wasn't looking at Legato, who was almost in tears.  
  
"DON'T EAT ALL OF IT!!" he wined.  
  
"You're breaking his spirit, Brittany!" she scolded. "You want some of my ice cream...umm... Hey what's your name, anyway?"  
  
"Legato..." he said after walking over.  
  
"Well, Legato," she said smiling. "You can have some of my ice cream." She stretched her carton out toward him, only to have it shoved back by Brittany. Legato grimaced.  
  
"C'mon, what's the fun in that?!" Brittany said frowning. "Make him work for it!"  
  
"Okay, fine," she said a bit annoyed. "First you must shoot Brittany," she giggled, which didn't last long because he actually pointed the gun at Brittany's head. Veronica gasped, "No, no I was joking!!!" Legato put his arm down. "You know what, I don't see the point in making you suffer." She stood up, she was taller than Brittany, though not by much. "Here," she said handing him the carton, which only had a quarter eaten out of it, "you can have the rest. I'm full anyway."  
  
Legato grabbed it quickly before Brittany had anything to say about it. He ate it slowly and happily. He sat crosslegged in the dust eating the ice cream, which dribbled from the corners of his mouth. He licked his lips after he was done and looked at Veronica with regained dignity.  
  
"Thank you," he said in the Legato voice we are all accustomed to hearing. Just then, Midvalley walks in from over a hill, playing notes on his sax. Brittany died. Veronica went off with them and they lived happily ever after. (A/N: just kidding, people! Can't Brittany take a joke? She's hitting me enough!) 


	3. Legato and Veronica

Okay, so Brittany didn't really die. But she almost fainted, that's cool, right? Truth was, Brittany melts when she hears the saxaphone. Legato grimaced toward Midvalley angrily.  
  
"You are not quite one to give directions, are you?" With that, he willed Midvalley to punch himself extra hard in the- um -you know. Midvalley doubled over in pain. Legato took it all in and laughed. Brittany jumped to her feet.  
  
"What did you do that for???!!!" she ran over to help him, cause, let's face it, she loves her a sax a'player.  
  
"Wow," Veronica said. "You're worse than Brittany..." she squinted at him, "You have ice cream over your top lip." He wiped it away. "No, there's still over the left corner." She walked over and wiped it off with her thumb. "There!" she smiled. She blushed when she noticed his eyes were closed. "Whao, there cowboy!" she said in shock.  
  
He stepped back. "Thank you," he said again.  
  
"You are really starting to scare me, you know that right."  
  
"I'm a mind reader."  
  
"Read this," she said, followed by a pause.  
  
"That's not very lady like," he said with a slight smirk.  
  
"That's not my problem, you're the one reading minds around here."  
  
"Come here," he commanding lowly. Veronica turned her back on him. "I said come here," he said a bit louder. Veronica looked over her shoulder.  
  
"What are you going to do?" she asked a small bit of fear in her voice.  
  
"Nothing painful," he began, "if you come over here."  
  
"You disgust me," she said turning around and walking to him.  
  
"Now let's try this again," he threatened. "I disgust you?"  
  
"Some ways more than others, yes," she said with her arms stifly at her sides. Legato chuckled.  
  
"Tell me why then."  
  
"Women have a lot of triggers, one goes off when someone such as yourself threatens them. The trigger you pulled was the wrong one," she said sternly. "You should know a good deal about triggers of the mind, Legato."  
  
Legato grimaced, "You should watch that mouth of yours, Miss."  
  
"Well you asked," Veronica said with a sigh. She looked at her feet and back up again. "Look, I'm sorry, men like you really..." she planned the next word to flatter him, "...intimidate me," she said looking back at her feet.  
  
Legato grinned, "I do, do I? No need to be intimidated, I'm not going to hurt you...as long as you listen to me." 


	4. Middie and Brittany

Okay, so here's how it is. Legato is trying to seduce Veronica in his own twisted little way, but what's going on with Brittany and Midvalley. (The Horn Freak, soon to be Horny Freak, let's watch, er, read, shall we?)  
  
"Oh, I'm never gunna have kids!" Midvalley groaned face down in the dust.  
  
"Are you okay?" Brittany asked in a very not-so-Brittany sweet tone.  
  
"Yeah, sure, I'm great..." he said sarcastically, "...next I'll gut myself, I'll feel fantastic then!" He eyed Legato, who was getting exactly what he deserved from Veronica, a cold shoulder.  
  
"Come on, get up," Brittany said grabbing his arm.  
  
"What are they talking about over there?"  
  
"I dunno," she started, "something about triggers."  
  
"Triggers?" he said reaching for his sax and standing. "Legato doesn't carry a gun..."  
  
"It's one of those unsolved mysteries, then."  
  
"Yeah, so," Midvalley studied her. "Who are you, exactly?"  
  
"Who wants to know?"  
  
"I'll tell ya' who wants to know, I want to know."  
  
"Who are you?" she said caught in mid-laugh.  
  
"I asked first, I believe."  
  
"You believe, but do you know you asked first?"  
  
"Fine, you win," Midvalley sighed. "The names Midvalley."  
  
"You sound lost. You're not in the middle of a valley, you're in a ghost town," she laughed. "Only kidding, don't take it personal or anything. I tortured Legato too, only worse. I'm Brittany."  
  
Midvalley was silent. Nothing but sand crickets, folks. "Wow, crickets on Gunsmoke...that's new," Midvalley said aloud. It wasn't that he didn't like her, she was very pretty, brown hair, bluish eyes... Oops, wake up Midvalley, you're staring. "Uh, where are you from?"  
  
"A place called, and listen closely, a city. Can you believe it?" (A/N: This is soooooo fun! ^_^.)  
  
"You enjoy seeing me suffer, don't you?" Midvalley sighed. "Do you live close to here?"  
  
"Nah, I live a whole twenty minutes that way, pepto boy."  
  
"Can you stop it with the sarcasm?"  
  
"Fine, but it's no fun."  
  
"Who's the other chick?" he said looking toward Legato and Veronica.  
  
"Oh, that's Veronica," Brittany said without even looking at them. "She gave Legato her ice cream, and well..."  
  
"Oh, boy," Midvalley said lowly. "Let's beat it, Legato won't need me for an hour after this."  
  
"Sure," Brittany grinned. "You know, you're the only person I've ever seen that could pull off a shirt like that," she chuckled. "You up for some ice cream." 


	5. Leggy and VeRONeka

So, Middie and Brittany eighty-sixed the ghost town, and Veronica is having trouble with Legato. Not that she didn't like Legato, it was just, it didn't seem right to her.  
  
"What do you want me to do?" Veronica said shakily.  
  
"Hold still," Legato pulled a small shurkien from his jacket pocket. He traced her cheekbone with his index finger and cut her just beneath it. She wasn't sure what he was trying to do, but it scared her. "There, it suits you perfectly." She felt the blood trickle down her face and onto her neck. She reached up to touch the wound, but Legato grabbed her hand on its way up. "No, don't touch it."  
  
"What's the matter with you?"she asked, outraged.  
  
"I like the smell of blood," he grinned, it was a chilling, cold grin.  
  
"Really?" she asked rolling her eyes.  
  
He grabbed her shoulder gently with one hand, and with the other, ran two fingers in the blood from her wound. He gently touched them to her lips. "I like the smell, the appearance, even the taste of it." He leaned forward to kiss her, but she pulled back.  
  
"I-I can't," she stuttered, looking at her feet.  
  
Legato's eyes narrowed. "I'm growing very impatient with you."  
  
"I am my own," she said almost in a whisper.  
  
"You don't understand, do you?" Legato said without raising his voice. "I can make you if I wanted."  
  
"Why don't you then?"  
  
"Takes all the fun out of it," he said cooly. By now some of the blood had fallen to the collar of Veronica's white shirt. "Do you fear me?"  
  
"You're the mind reader..." she said lowly. Legato's eyes narrowed.  
  
"I want to hear you say it."  
  
"No, I only fear what you'll do to me."  
  
"Bold words for someone in your position," he said in a low growl.  
  
"Would you rather me lie?" she asked looking up at him. "Tell you everything you want to hear, no matter how untruthful it may be? I only aim for you to know me."  
  
"You couldn't be scared of what I can do to you, if you speak the way you do," Legato said removing his hand from her shoulder.  
  
"Do you want me to fear you, is that it?" she asked without raising her tone.  
  
Legato removed his hand from her shoulder. "It would be an improvement." He slid his finger down the course of the blood down her neck. "I'm used to it. Not so much as the fear that I like, mainly respect, do you understand?" Veronica said nothing. "Answer me," he said without lifting his voice.  
  
"I understand," she said flatly. "If that is what you want, I'll have to get used to it. Just grant me this one thing, please." Legato gave her a look of question. "Let me adapt first, then you can have what you want."  
  
"You're not in a position to make requests, but I'll think about it." Legato looked off to the side. "Great..." he said in a low growl, "Midvalley and the bitch with the shurbert have disappeared."  
  
"What did you enjoy more, the kiss or the shurbert," Veronica said teasingly.  
  
"The shurbert, I actually wanted that. Where do you think they've gone off to, anyway?"  
  
"Brittany probably took him to the house- uh- the city, that's it," Veronica said finally able to breathe right.  
  
"There's a city around here?"  
  
"Where else would you get two pints of ice cream?" How dense can you get?  
  
"What was that?" he said looking her square in the eyes, eyebrows raised.  
  
"Ice cream doesn't materialize in thin air," she said slowly and insultingly. Legato raised the back of his hand, (A/N: the right one, folks! .^_^ ----Knives!) but he caught himself and put it back down when she raised her arms in front of her face.  
  
"Take me, then." Veronica lowered her arms and looked at his calm expression, sighing inwardly.  
  
"Alright,"she succumbed. "Follow me, it's only a tweenty minute walk from here."  
  
"Then why can't I see it?"  
  
"It's underground, not too many outsiders know about it," she said as they neared the end of the road. "This way," she said turning left behind what used to be an inn. "We'll have to go into the cellar back here, the road is underground also."  
  
"Why is the city underground?" Legato asked.  
  
"Total slaughter... Total slaughter... I won't leave a single man alive," Veronica sang under her breath. "Because there's less heat underground, and we'll all end up there anyway."  
  
"Is that a fact?" Leagato asked as Veronica continued humming Genisigh song. Veronica didn't really say anything until they reached the cellar doors in the ground.  
  
"After you," she said pulling one of the doors back, revealing a staircase. He walked in, grabbing her arms in the process to make sure she came. 


	6. Drunk and Happy

Time for a check-up! Veronica was almost bitch-slapped in the last chapter, but she was spared. Legato is currently following her to the city where Brittany and Midvalley have been for, oh, about forty minutes now. Wow! Legato really didn't need Midvalley for an hour! But what are they up to, exactly, oh, you'll find out!  
  
Brittany looked at Midvalley, eyes half lidded. "You know what's wrong with the world?" she asked, drunk.  
  
"You don't know?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"uhh...ummm..."  
  
"You're pretty..."  
  
"You are too, I like how you're eyelashes move when you blink," Brittny said dazed.  
  
"You're pretty..."  
  
"Take off your pants!"  
  
"You're pretty, I need the bathroom..."  
  
"I wanna gooooooo..."  
  
"uhhhhh, what?"  
  
"Please!"  
  
"Oh, yeah.........bathroom, I gotta go."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You're beautiful...." Midvalley got up and headed to the bathroom. Brittany looked at some random person in the bar.  
  
"He's so hot..." she laughed like Vash. "...I can tell, because he's all sweaty..." she jerked around from her liquor fit.  
  
"Who are you talking to?" Midvalley said staggering back to the bar.  
  
"I love you..." Brittany let out a slight drunken laugh.  
  
"uhhhhh...huh?"  
  
"Can we go to the thing with the place and the priest...uhhh..."  
  
"Yeah.....I can call my best friend Cha-ple...I think he's my friend..."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You're so hot..."  
  
"I am???"  
  
"Do you think I'm preeeeeeeeeettty?"  
  
"Beauty is in the eye of...the eye of...the beer holder, and you get more beautiful with every beer I hold..."  
  
"That's so sweet...I wanna try..."  
  
"No, this one's mines..." he said 'protecting' his beer bottle.  
  
"There's three of you..." she said pointing wide to the left.  
  
"Well, there's five of you!" he said taking another swig shakily. "You wanna have an orgy?"  
  
"No, I wanna have sex!" she said loud enough for the entire bar to hear. "...with you and your two brothers there..." she said in a normal tone.  
  
"I love you..."  
  
"Sure...whatever."  
  
"Who am I..."  
  
"You are......du...um...VASH! That's right, Vash the Tsunami.....uh.......yeah."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"I am Nicholas D. Wolfwood..........'s cousin in law.....on his mother's side........sive times removed."  
  
"Removed from what?"  
  
"uh.....du.......um........I have no.....that guy over there just puked...." she said looking over Midvalley's shoulder.  
  
"Let's go look......." he said turning around. They walked over to the puke pile.  
  
"It's sooooo.......white......and yellow.........and chunky!" Brittany laughed.  
  
"Is it real?" Midvalley said nudging it with his sax case. "Yep..."  
  
"I wanna go home........................................................................ ............................................................................ ..............................................................with you."  
  
"Okay..." he said after snorting a laugh. "Where is that...?"  
  
"..."  
  
"Two street signs.....and a left?"  
  
"uuhhh...yes."  
  
The two stagger out of the bar, pass two street signs, and take left, amazingly, ending up at Veronica's house. They walk in through the back door.  
  
"Where did your brothers go?"  
  
"I dunno......they ran off with your sisters.....what was your name again?"  
  
"uh...urn...Legato."  
  
"What are we doing in a laundry room?"  
  
"..........."  
  
"I love you...Legato."  
  
Britany put her arms around his neck. They lost balance and fell into a basket of clothes Veronica had just took down from the clothesline. The clothesbasket tips over and they fall to the floor on a mattress of the laundry. They kissed each other everywhere (A/N: So they stripped, sue me! ^_^.) but they passed out before anything really happened, drat for Brittany! 


	7. Legato makes a move

If you didn't read the last chapter, boy you're dumb! It's funny! Go read it! Twice! .^_^ ^_^.  
  
Veronica and Legato strolled the city which had gone dark with the setting suns. Legato couldn't help but ask, though.  
  
"How does the light change here when we're underground?" he said as they turned a corner, heading for Brittany's house. Veronica pointed up.  
  
"Glass ceiling, it's over the entire area, it's lined with some kind of material that keeps it from magnifying the heat." Veronica opened Brittany's front door with her spare key. "Brat? Brittany?" she called, but no answer.  
  
"There's no one here," Legato said walking back down the stoop.  
  
"Thank you captain obvious." Veronica thought as she locked the door.  
  
"I told you about that," Legato said in warning. "Do not toy with my patience, understand?"  
  
"You want to go get some cheesecake and head on home," she asked, pretty much fazing out what he just said.  
  
"Cheesecake?" he repeated hungrily. "Sure!"  
  
"Alright, we'll stop by the diner, and I guess you can stay at my house for the night." Legato grinned.  
  
"Okay..."  
  
They walked into the diner, ordered two slices of cheesecake, took seven slices of cheesecake, paid for zero slices of cheesecake, Legato KO'd the store clerk, and they left.  
  
"That was quick," Veronica said as they left.  
  
"I have a way with sales clerks," Legato said with a smirk easing its way on his face.  
  
"Yeah, that's pretty much evident."  
  
Legato chuckled. He didn't care what she said at the moment, he had cheesecake.  
  
By the time they had gotten to Veronica's house, Legato ate six and a quarter slices of cheescake. Veronica ate three quarters of one slice of cheesecake (For all of you who can't do math.) The slices weren't all that big, so Legato was not full, but he was rather content. Veronica unlocked the front door, and flicked on the light.  
  
"I have to sort some laundry," she said dropping the empty box that contained the cheesecake into the garbage. "I'll be with you shortly."  
  
"I'm going, too," Legato sort of demanded lowly, sliding his jacket off. "No sense in me allowing you to leave me here if this isn't your house."  
  
"OOOOOooooooooooooo-K. This way then, it's in the back."  
  
Legato followed her through the living room, kitchen, dining room, and finally to a locked door. She unlocked it, opened it, flicked on the light, and gasped in utter horror.  
  
"What's that.....Vash?" Brittany said blinking a few times.  
  
"I dunno Legato, it looks like the C train," Midvalley said sheilding his eyes.  
  
"Oh yeah, it's a light....."  
  
"Oh my GOD!" Veronica said from the doorway. Legato grimaced at Midvalley.  
  
"Midvalley, why are you here?"  
  
"Who's Midvalley...." Midvalley asked drowsily. Legato willed him to punch himself in the jaw.  
  
"Why are you hitting yourself, Vash?"  
  
Veronica turned the light off and left the room. "Okay, I've seen enough of that. Let's go get you settled in before I break down."  
  
"He called the shurbert bitch Legato," Legato stated lowly as he followed her into a hall.  
  
"This is the master bedroom," she said opening a door. "I'll stay in the guest room, you apparently need space." Legato gave her a dirty look. "What? What did I say now?"  
  
"Just leave," Legato commanded as he ran his fingers in his hair in frustration.  
  
Veronica went quietly across the hall and to the Guest room. Legato watched to see which room it was. After which, he closed the door to his room and fell onto the rather large mattress. He didn't even get under the green blankets, he just drifted off into sleep.  
  
Three hours later, Legato awoke suddenly, and man did he have to go! He ran to the guest room and pushed the door open loudly, waking Veronica. She sat up under the white sheets in surprise. She was only wearing a sport bra and her undies.  
  
"What are you doing in here?" she whispered harshly.  
  
"The bathroom, if you please," Legato managed in his normal tone of voice.  
  
She rubbed her face with her hand as she stated dryly, "Just next to the room you were just in," she signaled across the hall.  
  
"Thank you," once he closed the door, he bolted for it.  
  
...  
  
...  
  
He was in there for a while. (A/N: he wasn't doing the stinky, K. ^_^.) Once he was out, he went back to the guest room. Veronica was still sitting up.  
  
"Everything come out okay?" she giggled when she saw him standing in the doorway.  
  
Legato grinned at her, it seemed less haunting this time. He didn't say anything to her at all.  
  
"Are you okay?" Veronica asked, seeing as he didn't make any noise or motion at all.  
  
"You still have blood on you," he said with a hint of eerie cheer in his voice.  
  
"Come on, Legato," Veronica began exasperated, "not now, please, I was finally feeling better."  
  
"Like I said before," he whispered as he neared her, "you are in no position to make requests."  
  
"Please, Legato," she begged. He only got closer, and closer to her.  
  
"Humans are so pathetic, don't you agree," he whispered, stopping at the foot of the bed, "caring only for themselves, only for what they want." Veronica swallowed as he sat on the foot of the bed and talked to her from over his shouler. "Isn't that right?"  
  
"Not in all cases," she managed in a whisper loud, and clear enough for him to understand.  
  
"What about in your case?" he asked cleverly, turning around completely. "Why don't you want me? Tell me exactly why."  
  
"You'll just get what you want and go," Veronica answered flatly. "You think I don't know that?"  
  
"If I go, you're coming, there's nothing you can do about that," he stated as both a threat and a come-on.  
  
"Until some other girl feeds you ice cream..."Veronica concluded leaning against the headboard of the bed.  
  
"You don't have to worry about that," Legato started as he eased his way further up the bed. "You're never going to see me in a sugar low again."  
  
"That's why you were so pathetic- uh I mean desperate- um...agreeable," she blushed.  
  
"That's it," Legato breathed, he was now exactly one foot away from her.  
  
"You just don't give up, do you?" Veronica giggled lowly.  
  
"I never give up on anything I really want," he pushed.  
  
"How flattering," she said lowly. He leaned over her. She blushed. "No, really, don't-" but it was too late to say anything now, he kissed her. And he kept on kissing her, too, folks, well, until she kissed him back anyways.  
  
"Now was that so horrible?" he asked, now laying on her.  
  
"Your elbow is in my rib cage, it hurts," she stated lowly. 


End file.
